The Brisbane Window » Single Serve Pestilence

Plagiarised on 14.07.07 by Russell Allen @ 9:09 am

Q: What’s worse than an uneducated bigot?
A: An educated bigot.

R.A.: They’re not so bad?!
E.B.: Bloc Party? Queer jigaboo spouting socialist propaganda. University music graduates should be publicly stoned. But instead of stones, use petrol and matches.
R.A.: I won’t ask what you think of Whitney Houston then?

Planted In Window Box: Single Serve Pestilence
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 3 Comments Behind The Sofa

Whyfore

Plagiarised on 01.04.07 by Russell Allen @ 7:22 pm

As unexpected as a quinella drawn at the races. Yesterday, for the first time in living memory, at the moment of completion, when one body unifies with another to create a third energy, I felt guilt. Never happened before. Discuss.

Planted In Window Box: Single Serve Pestilence
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 11 Comments Behind The Sofa

Chicks Say Some Stupid Shit When You Bang Them

Plagiarised on 22.02.07 by Russell Allen @ 12:21 pm

“Now darl, just straight in and straight out, OK “

“Errr…OK”

Planted In Window Box: Single Serve Pestilence
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 15 Comments Behind The Sofa

5 Things Men Just Shouldn’t Say

Plagiarised on 19.12.06 by Russell Allen @ 8:12 pm

“I’m just popping over to a rub n’ tug. Do you want to come with?”

“I nearly cried at the end of Grant Denyer’s last Sunrise”

“I’m not really that into sport. What’s the fuss?”

“I’m happy with my four cylinder”

“Happy Feet is out on Boxing Day. I can’t fuckin wait”

Note: Only one of these comments was uttered by me. Can you guess which one?

Planted In Window Box: Single Serve Pestilence
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 17 Comments Behind The Sofa

Pre-IPO Banter: BlueFreeway

Plagiarised on 14.12.06 by Russell Allen @ 12:23 pm

“Here’s one that might take your fancy. ”
“…”
“A shameless IPO run…Everyone likes those. Fling a half mil in their direction and see what happens.”
“Did you read in the paper how Qantas rejected the $10.9bn deal but accepted the $11bn deal. ”
“Lets squeeze that extra $100m out of the Yank cunts.”
“What Macquarie?”
“Same difference…so about this shameless IPO run”
“They’re called Blue Freeway. They’re raising $36m for no good reason except to buy a bunch of companies that do more or less the same thing in a really haphazard way.
“Worked for Coles Myer”
“It didn’t but…”
“…and look who’s heading it up”
“Greg Daniel”
“I did say ‘Shameless’ didn’t I”
“Shameless you said, not ‘underwhelming’ .”
“He’s well, well connected”
“So’s Kim Beazley, but you wouldn’t expect him to get from A to B without a compass and a bucket of chicken, would ya? ”
“So they expect $2.2m of sales in ‘07 with $2m of costs. ”
“That’s almost as profitable as my ING Direct account. Like it.”
“Half of the $36m is going to buy Destra Hosting. Which made about $1m in profit last year. ”
“Nice, it’ll be paid off sometime after the Antarctic Winter Olympics. Haven’t any of these cunts heard of hosted solutions?”
“Guess not”
“I think I’ll give it a miss”
“Blue Freeway?! Blue Sky more like. Buy when they go to 10c…actually makes that 6c”

Planted In Window Box: Single Serve Pestilence
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 22 Comments Behind The Sofa

Call 911/000/999 Or Speed-Dial Me

Plagiarised on 29.11.06 by Russell Allen @ 8:33 pm

Quite possibly the most unintentionally funny thing I’ve seen in a while. Follow the page down to the third image. Note which section the image is in.

Planted In Window Box: Single Serve Pestilence
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 11 Comments Behind The Sofa

On Being Asked How The Car Went By Avis

Plagiarised on 19.11.06 by Russell Allen @ 5:25 pm

It was alright. Actually, let me clarify. It was alright until about 150. Dreamy. At 155 it started to get a bit unstable and unwieldy. 5 k’s less and the difference was well noticeable. At 160 it was wobbling about like a crazy methodone geezer shouting at his invisible brother. Disappointing for a six cylinder. I mean, you can tap a 3 Series or a WRX at well over that and it sticks to the ground. I had always thought Holden’s were more stable but I wouldn’t recommend this car for high-tailing it above 145 to be safe. You should mention that to the next person when you rent it out next.

Planted In Window Box: Single Serve Pestilence
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 13 Comments Behind The Sofa

Tolerable Wretches (and getting them drunk)