The Brisbane Window » 2007

Plagiarised on 20.07.07 by Russell Allen @ 1:52 pm

This weekend. 2,000 horny American males will descend onto Bris Vegas ready to spread their man seed.

I’m going to get myself some head. Luckily, the males of Sydney have broken them in already so they should be match fit. Yummo!

Just The Seven Of You? Park Them One At A Time Please

Planted In Window Box: Coveting Thy Neighbours Pink Oxen
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 13 Comments Behind The Sofa

Each Generation Is Better Than The Last

Plagiarised on 14.07.07 by Russell Allen @ 9:09 am

Q: What’s worse than an uneducated bigot?
A: An educated bigot.

R.A.: They’re not so bad?!
E.B.: Bloc Party? Queer jigaboo spouting socialist propaganda. University music graduates should be publicly stoned. But instead of stones, use petrol and matches.
R.A.: I won’t ask what you think of Whitney Houston then?

Planted In Window Box: Single Serve Pestilence
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 3 Comments Behind The Sofa

Ceci N’est Pas Une Ginger Biscuit

Plagiarised on 10.07.07 by Russell Allen @ 6:00 pm

As I skulk around IKEA hunting out my favourite, carcinogenic, prefab meatball sauce, Graddsas, of course, I spy a bogan lady. She is standing from a sign 30 centimeters away from her enlarged noggin. In extremely large writing it says ‘Ginger Biscuits’. She has a box of them in her hand.

‘What are they?’, asks her equally bogan other half. He, with an inordinately small head. I suspect they could be twins split from the same ovum but unevenly, just like the Benedicts were in Twins. My suspicions are confirmed as he grabs her arse. Keep it in the family and all that.

‘Dunno. I don’t speak French’.

Planted In Window Box: Viva BrisVegas
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 11 Comments Behind The Sofa

Etched On A Pyramid

Plagiarised on 08.07.07 by Russell Allen @ 8:23 pm

You know how like in Egyptian times they would carve depictions of how life was like back in them days? Cats with pointy ears, sitting on pots of gold with big fuck-off eyes winking down on ‘em.

Well, I’m glad they don’t do it now because the Great Pyramid Of Cheops would have pictures of me, stark bollock naked, playing air sax to the theme of Boston Legal.

Bau-bau-ba-da-da-ba-da-da!!

Planted In Window Box: Pig's Ear
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 3 Comments Behind The Sofa

Lame Royal Furore

Plagiarised on 03.07.07 by Russell Allen @ 10:41 am

According to the Danish, the name bestowed to the new princess, Isabella, is too common.

Permanently, bee-stung presenter of A Current Affair, Tracy Grimshaw, weighed in by expressing Isabella is a lovely name. Frankly, they could have called her Sharon Shitpipe and it still would have been a better name than yours, T-Dogg.

Planted In Window Box: Wearing Lindsay Lohan's Panties
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 8 Comments Behind The Sofa

Fergie - Hot Or Not?

Plagiarised on 01.07.07 by Russell Allen @ 9:59 am

Has anyone ever told you how much I dislike Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas? Well, I do. This is my favouritist photo of her. Taken immediately after she took a shit on the lawn after the MTV Australia Video Music Awards.