The Brisbane Window » 2006

Definitive List of Australian ‘Celebrities’ Ranked By Popularity According To MySpace

Plagiarised on 21.12.06 by Russell Allen @ 1:15 pm

Here’s the list in alphabetical order (if you can’t spell an’ shit):

Andrew G - luscious-locked mic holder who co-fronts Aussie Idol, possible coco-shunter - 2,266 Friends.

Ajay - The tubby presenter of Australia’s edition of The Biggest Loser. Or as Bree from BB nicely commented on MySpace - paraphr. - “You are just like a fat Gretal Kileen” - 11 Friends.

…

OK…bored now…back to the boozer some more lascivious frivolity.

Planted In Window Box: Wearing Lindsay Lohan's Panties
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 13 Comments Behind The Sofa

5 Things Men Just Shouldn’t Say

Plagiarised on 19.12.06 by Russell Allen @ 8:12 pm

“I’m just popping over to a rub n’ tug. Do you want to come with?”

“I nearly cried at the end of Grant Denyer’s last Sunrise”

“I’m not really that into sport. What’s the fuss?”

“I’m happy with my four cylinder”

“Happy Feet is out on Boxing Day. I can’t fuckin wait”

Note: Only one of these comments was uttered by me. Can you guess which one?

Planted In Window Box: Single Serve Pestilence
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 17 Comments Behind The Sofa

Monty To Go The Ubertonk

Plagiarised on 17.12.06 by Russell Allen @ 8:04 am

If I was a cricket manager, I’d put Monty in at 4 to partner Pietersen and watch ‘em both go the ubertonk for 2 straight days. How could England fail to lose?

Monty Smacks It For Another Single

Planted In Window Box: Pig's Ear
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 10 Comments Behind The Sofa

Pre-IPO Banter: BlueFreeway

Plagiarised on 14.12.06 by Russell Allen @ 12:23 pm

“Here’s one that might take your fancy. ”
“…”
“A shameless IPO run…Everyone likes those. Fling a half mil in their direction and see what happens.”
“Did you read in the paper how Qantas rejected the $10.9bn deal but accepted the $11bn deal. ”
“Lets squeeze that extra $100m out of the Yank cunts.”
“What Macquarie?”
“Same difference…so about this shameless IPO run”
“They’re called Blue Freeway. They’re raising $36m for no good reason except to buy a bunch of companies that do more or less the same thing in a really haphazard way.
“Worked for Coles Myer”
“It didn’t but…”
“…and look who’s heading it up”
“Greg Daniel”
“I did say ‘Shameless’ didn’t I”
“Shameless you said, not ‘underwhelming’ .”
“He’s well, well connected”
“So’s Kim Beazley, but you wouldn’t expect him to get from A to B without a compass and a bucket of chicken, would ya? ”
“So they expect $2.2m of sales in ‘07 with $2m of costs. ”
“That’s almost as profitable as my ING Direct account. Like it.”
“Half of the $36m is going to buy Destra Hosting. Which made about $1m in profit last year. ”
“Nice, it’ll be paid off sometime after the Antarctic Winter Olympics. Haven’t any of these cunts heard of hosted solutions?”
“Guess not”
“I think I’ll give it a miss”
“Blue Freeway?! Blue Sky more like. Buy when they go to 10c…actually makes that 6c”

Planted In Window Box: Single Serve Pestilence
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 22 Comments Behind The Sofa

God Bless The Brazilian Women’s Soccer Team

Plagiarised on 13.12.06 by Russell Allen @ 2:44 pm

Soapy titwank anyone? No…

…I’ll get my coat

Planted In Window Box: Pig's Ear
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 16 Comments Behind The Sofa

Note To Self

Plagiarised on 09.12.06 by Russell Allen @ 12:03 pm

It’s never a good idea to go tandem jetskiing at 6.30am when you’re as drunk and as twisted as an old man’s arsehole. Sore much.

Planted In Window Box: Very GC
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 10 Comments Behind The Sofa

Gold Coast Bulletin Publishes Picture Of Well-Known Sex Fiend

Plagiarised on 05.12.06 by Russell Allen @ 6:20 pm

I didn’t realise they imprisoned Tasmanian Devils for sexual assault. Neither did I know that their sentences were so lenient that they are allowed to roam the streets as if nothing happened. Fortunately, the local rag managed to snap him in his so-called ‘hideaway’.

Planted In Window Box: Very GC
Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 18 Comments Behind The Sofa

Tolerable Wretches (and getting them drunk)