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Plagiarised on 29.09.06 by Russell Allen @ 4:27 pm
So, how many animals can you spot on this homestead out by Natural Bridge in the Gold Coast hinterland? It’s a farm so you may find a few in there…
Trees Are Not Animals. Fact! OK…then how did you go? I know it’s a shitty quality scan but I accidentally pressed ‘Draft’ quality and I couldn’t be arsed re-scanning. I love you guys but not that much… Did you spot the horse in the foreground? Well done you!! But the animals that are readily visible are hooped from left to right… 1. Horse…Brown…Four Legs
You can just about make out the lofty stature of this most majestic of herbivirous dinosauruses. You remember the scene from Jurassic Park when the fucker eats the leaves from the trees and scares the livin bejesus out of the girl…wouldn’t you want to recreate that on your land. Except with far less movement and less excitement. Well wouldn’t you? Scarier still is that there are fibre-glass velociraptors hidden in the woods and this little bubby out by the trees.
Triceratopicus Fiberous Glasseous - Available From Bunnings and all other good hardware stores Imagine going for a quiet bushwalk out in the middle of buttfuck nowhere and there you meet a horny beast a dozen times your size and when you realise that he’s a fuckin vego and your heart slows down you notice a herd of fuckin velociraptors ready to pounce on yo sorry ass. Excuse me but what the fuckin hell style acid have these hippies been poppin? Answer me!! Incidentally, this homestead is up for auction on September 30 listed by Ray White Broadbeach. It also comes with its own race track, helipad, slippery dip, herd of fibre glass American Bison and ‘The Duke’, John Wayne. Where can I start the bidding? Man at the front starting us off with a roll of padded wallpaper and a fuckin small room in which to put it in. Any advances on that?!?! Planted In Window Box: Very GC Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 12 Comments Behind The Sofa |
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Plagiarised on 28.09.06 by Russell Allen @ 12:28 pm
Some 1250 people today have been looking for Lindsay Lohan Without Panties or a variation thereof. Don’t say I don’t give the public what they want.
Lindsay Lohan With No Panties On…Technically It’s A Bikini. Planted In Window Box: Wearing Lindsay Lohan's Panties Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 46 Comments Behind The Sofa |
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Plagiarised on 27.09.06 by Russell Allen @ 5:48 pm
Quiet wandering while shopping you overhear some odd things - ———– Hot Little Teen Speaking To Scabby Mole of a Parent: ———– Scabby Male Teen I to Scabby Male Teen II: ———– Ingratiating Shop Assistant With Eroded Bulimic Enamel Teeth: ———– Bizarrely-frustrated, midget tree-hugger: ———– Someone who should know better: Planted In Window Box: Very GC Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 14 Comments Behind The Sofa |
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Plagiarised on 26.09.06 by Russell Allen @ 9:01 am
Believe it or not I have been hauling my idle ass for the best part of a month now. Most of my days are spent flowcharting the living fuck out of things so it looks like they are deficient so people with loads of cash give a large portion of it. Sounds dreary but it’s fuckin fun. Hey mate, that your business is shite cos A doesn’t trigger B and the responses from B don’t go to C but instead go to D and that’s a clusterfuck situation none of us want to be in. Smoke and Mirrors! Love it! Planted In Window Box: Pig's Ear Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 21 Comments Behind The Sofa |
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Plagiarised on 21.09.06 by Russell Allen @ 2:21 pm
Quickly following on from Ro-Ro’s blog post re Jamie from BB suckin off the face of some harlot, I can report I spotted that midget minger Katie in downtown Surfers Paradise with a mystery man. They weren’t snogging or nuffin but the bloke was the lanky, great white hype of Australian middle distance running, Craig ‘Buster’ Mottram. Ugly babies will ensue no doubt.
The delectable Katie now sponsored by Aveda Planted In Window Box: Pig's Ear Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 13 Comments Behind The Sofa |
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Plagiarised on 20.09.06 by Russell Allen @ 8:32 am
Drive-thru Subway is crap - too many questions. Planted In Window Box: Very GC Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 13 Comments Behind The Sofa |
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Plagiarised on 18.09.06 by Russell Allen @ 11:12 am
There comes a time in every man’s life when he gets a bit sleep deprived and they would literally kill someone if their sleep was disturbed. This morning was that time for me. This morning the next door neighbour fired up an industrial-grade woodchipper and got woodchippin. You cannot possibly understand the levels of restraint I exercised in order to not throw the man in. I could have killed a man today but instead I decided to dob him immigration so he could be deported. Not my fault, it was the lack of sleep talking. Planted In Window Box: Pig's Ear Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 28 Comments Behind The Sofa |
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My Dad
kinda looks like Christopher Moltisanti. Pow!