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Plagiarised on 31.08.06 by Russell Allen @ 5:19 pm
Plastic paint palette from art store with dips for 12 colours - $22.95 ——– Am loving the new Wind Tunnel in Surfers Paradise aka the Circle on Cavill shopping complex. ——– And the last example of brilliance comes courtesy of Hungbunny who has revamped the lowly love heart Here Endeth The Lesson Planted In Window Box: Single Serve Pestilence Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 12 Comments Behind The Sofa |
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Plagiarised on 30.08.06 by Russell Allen @ 9:36 am
What a huge-arse weekend coming up. Huger than huger than huge. Well, first cab off the rank is Thursday night which is where the weekend officially starts, even for commoners this week, as Friday is Gold Coast Show day. I’ll be attending, you mark my words Australia. Fuck the Ekka! This is where the tasty treats is at, with twice the number of rural folk! Missions are threefold… 1. To engorge myself on Bertie Beetles and other showbag choccy goodness Believe it or not but the top of the list will be the hardest to fulfil. Mainly cos I plan on being at the show completely off my scone on a cocktail of T-Shirts and Chaz and a touch of Waterford. This, of course will stem from the previous night’s frivolity where I’ll be pretending to be gay, obviously cos this is the easiest way to meet tasty hot chicks because I’m soooooo unthreatening. Ha-Ha! Psyche! Hey but I thought you fancied me cos I was gay but now I’m not, you don’t fancy me?!!? You can you know. It’s not lying dahlin! It’s what we call a trap. As an aside, and stealing this section of my post from Steph aka The Stalkers Choice - Drunk debate of the week - would you buy 1000 pills off a bikie you didn’t know for $12,ooo? Not for distribution to kidlets - for personal use, of course. Sorted for about 5 months then. Speaking about Much Ado…I’ve been reading that again at night…that Don Pedro is a wily stoat. However, I can’t get Keanu Reeves out of my head. Saturday boasts a 35min solo voyage to the Valley, where I will repeat the efforts of Thursday, without the gay charade, converse with a bunch of tasty minxes who are clearly missing something from their lives and I will be onhand to relieve them of that burden. Then I’ll retire to the lurvely suite I have booked in town where I’ll watch the ships roll in and watch them roll back out again. If I get a stinkin proper view this time that is. Sunday of course is the Lord’s day so I’ll be recovering will a slab of lager and bread roll while driving. It’s OK, I’ll be reciting the Lord’s Prayer, allowing for occassional segueways for a Hail Mary or a Here Comes The Sun, for the duration. Planted In Window Box: Very GC Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 21 Comments Behind The Sofa |
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Plagiarised on 29.08.06 by Russell Allen @ 8:16 am
I was going to write a deeply involved and clever commentary about Marcia ‘I coulda phoned it in if I wasn’t obliged to show up and sit between a couple-a tone-deaf teabaggers for 3 months of the year but it’s good cos I get to sit next to Mark since, occassionally, I can reiterate his insightful comments about pitchy modulation’ Hines, the placid judge on Aussie Idol, but why bother. Anyone who has seen the show (and it is on 5 friggin days in a row) will know all her platitudes inside and out and those who don’t, be thankful. Just picture Paula Abdul but with less variety and fewer facial expressions. You gotta lotta heart and for that, I thank you. Planted In Window Box: Wearing Lindsay Lohan's Panties Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 30 Comments Behind The Sofa |
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Plagiarised on 28.08.06 by Russell Allen @ 8:30 am
If you don’t understand the title then you are an idiot - Discuss! Planted In Window Box: Pig's Ear Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 18 Comments Behind The Sofa |
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Plagiarised on 25.08.06 by Russell Allen @ 2:05 pm
It has become patently clear to me that the ‘community art project’ that is PostSecret is a forum for graphic designers to show off their wares. If I had to guess, about 90% of the cards on show are fakies…of the ‘I dont eat onions because they make me cry’ variety and look at me demonstrate this thought through this cool montage of images and non-standard fonts I’ve chosen to use.
I mean, I’ve experienced real people in my life and most have appalling handwriting as if they write with their middle toes and those who realise their disability rarely use any font other than Comic Sans and even if they had sussed out writing, colours would be clashing and images would be rotten like an alt.com quim. Of course, the majority of cards on display have great legible handwriting or use Punch Label font, or better still, something created by Jonathan Barnsbrook like Exocet or Mason. These fuckin high-end, ‘didn’t I see that shit on The Matrix’ fonts cost money - a fair amount of money…unless you live in Thailand of course. So, Yeah man! While I’m at it, I’m soooo desparate to rid myself of this ‘dreadful’ secret of mine I’ll write it on a postcard and send it to that PostSecret guy and in the ‘discovery’ process I’ll fuckin spend $700 on Adobe Illustrator and see how I get on. Especially since I am visually dyslexic and shit.
Bugger my visual dyslexia I’ll drop my new found skills of stripping backgrounds from photos to good use and pretend I have a deep and dark secret - I put coke-flavoured Chupa Chups in my ass then give them to children that annoy me - or behold the fake ‘fessions I just threw together here. Bollocks to it!
STOP PRESS: Contribute to the first turn of the revolution. On the sidebar you’ll find the PostSecret Rebellion Page. This will display your Anti-Postsecret guff if you want to submit. Get creating you swine!! DOUBLE STOP PRESS: Our first two submissions have arrived. You naughty buggers. These have also been posted to the permanent PostSecret Rebellion Page.
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Planted In Window Box: Binary Bollocks Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 27 Comments Behind The Sofa |
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Plagiarised on 24.08.06 by Russell Allen @ 7:33 pm
Studying masked faces of sins hidden, Wet, bloody confessions easily coerced The pure have degraded to puppets of parody; Together these bind into a mansion of straw. Planted In Window Box: Single Serve Pestilence Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 11 Comments Behind The Sofa |
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Plagiarised on 23.08.06 by Russell Allen @ 8:55 pm
If you watch TV late at night like me, not only do you have to endure the passion and the power of Hotdogs (and his henchman Rob who looks like he’s had shit rubbed into his face), Anthony Robbins (Get The Muthafuckin Edge baby!) and the Magic Bullet (create Homous and Guacamole in seconds for only 4 easy payments of $49.95 + $29.95p&p) , but every 55 seconds it seems there are endless ad breaks for Text’n'Flirt’n'Jack’Off etc (with my particular favourite at the moment being 199 LOVIN - which may as well be called ‘Text-A-Fat-Tit-Bogan-With-Crabs’.). I have also noticed the proliferation of adult dating sites with their cheeky tone that makes having a gangbang with old Vera and her 13 mates from down the road seem positively wholesome. What we haven’t seen the ads for (yet) is the derivative ‘dating’ sites that link from the ‘wholesome’ ones. My particular fave is Alt.com. Can I place a warning at this point that you should not visit Alt.com until after you read the below list of ‘preferences’ you can nominate in your partner. This is the full list… 24/7 Total Power Exchange I’m in the market for bitches with medieval devices, defilement and douching while plugging me with Chinese Beads. So, punters what are you waiting for - text and meet tonight!!! Planted In Window Box: Pig's Ear Comments: No Comments, Actually I Found 34 Comments Behind The Sofa |
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My Dad
kinda looks like Christopher Moltisanti. Pow!