Just Keep Him On The Line One Second Longer…

Wednesday May 17th 2006, 5:44 pm
Filed in pants drawer labelled: Coveting Thy Neighbours Pink Oxen

Hey you! Oh, oh, oh!! What’s that lurking around your pants eh? I recall something similar to that jumpin up and biting ol’ Cleopatra in the tit…Poor Bitch! Bang! Bitch goes down!! You can really see it slithering around down there. Bring it here, closer. Come on, I can’t see…well I can see but I want it right here so I can practically smell it. Closer. Let me snuffle around like a boar searching for truffles, morels and other pungent champignons of the forest.

Mmm, not what I expected… smells like Peppermint Wednesdays all over again. Have you been conditioning yourself with Baddedas? … That’s what former US Open champion, Chrissie Evert used to douche her mufty with. Whenever she went out in the middle of 10,000 of Flushing Meadow you could smell the freshness of her cunt. For real.

Sweet Crying Mary Mother Superior of the Conceptia Immaculata, have you been stealing from the lumber yard again? I guess that’s how they measure Two by Fours at Bunnings. That vein is like an Amazonian tributary engorged during the height of the rainy season. The canopy empties into the river and flows into the ocean that is my mouth.

And what’s that underneath? Tell me. That’s not possible. Not fruit. Fruit are much smaller. Have you not seen Apricots, Peachs, Plums and Pears. Not that yours are pear shaped. No! They’re much larger. Bigger. Huge-r! You look like you’re straddling two globes from the National Geographic Store. No motorcycle riding for you or you’ll just slide right off the top. Do you like the throb of a Harley between you? Noisy, loud engine vibrating so. Speaking of sliding, riding and vibrating, when are you gonna let me have a go with your toolbox? As soon as I saw it I knew it wasn’t standard issue. A lot of care has gone into this one. That’s a really tidy looking set you have there. Is that a ratchet or a monkey wrench…and do you think it will fit in my ass?

Phone Sex Operator - Apply now. Adult entertainment - Same Sex. Earn between 80c and $1.20 per minute.

Dya think I’d be any good?

Your Apparatus Is Very Sensuous. Tapering Down From It’s Bulbous Aperture And Ending With A Wide, Firm Base.




23 Blows Delivered After The Bell. Refereee!!! »



  1. Signing up to Manline for some extra cash Russ?

    Hit by Dollop May 17, 2006 @ 5:57 pm



  2. It’s kinda like that challenge where you have to talk on one subject for as long as you can without pausing. I wanna bust the record…

    Hit by Russell Allen May 17, 2006 @ 6:00 pm



  3. I’d do it for free but if they pay that’s a bonus

    Hit by Russell Allen May 17, 2006 @ 6:01 pm



  4. Court Rex Hunt as a client. He pays and pays and pays and pays …

    Hit by Rowena May 17, 2006 @ 8:13 pm



  5. Do I look like a beautician?

    Hit by Russell Allen May 17, 2006 @ 8:14 pm



  6. Well, you rarely say no to a wax or a pluck …

    Hit by Rowena May 17, 2006 @ 8:27 pm



  7. Or a wank or a prick…

    Hit by Russell Allen May 17, 2006 @ 9:43 pm



  8. Am i alone in thinking nuts are just the weirdest looking things ever? Gotta say, I’m not a fan. I might have to find me a ball-less man. But then would he still be a man? What a conundrum.
    By the way, just about every single night that i work in the call center, some jizz goblin asks me what I’m wearing, and whether or not i swallow.
    Cheap bastards don’t want a taxi, they want some phone sexin for the cost of a local call.
    Thank fuck i can now give up this abomination of a job!

    Hit by steph May 17, 2006 @ 11:11 pm



  9. Neph, I think that says more about your timbre than it does their libidinousness.

    Probably.

    Hit by Dollop May 18, 2006 @ 9:10 am



  10. Timbre or Timber…a double edged sword?

    And Steph, what are you wearing?

    Hit by Russell Allen May 18, 2006 @ 9:37 am



  11. Puts a new meaning on “Gi us a five seater luv”, doesn’t it?

    Hit by Dollop May 18, 2006 @ 9:42 am



  12. I think they’re all 5 seaters as standard nowadays…it’s a big effort for a Maxibon 15 seater jobbie

    Hit by Russell Allen May 18, 2006 @ 11:54 am



  13. I felt some movement in my pant area, so yes, you may be on to something here.

    Admittedly it doesn’t take much to move me though.

    Hit by gav May 18, 2006 @ 12:01 pm



  14. Have you ever read Vox?

    It’s a ‘book’, but actually it’s one long, twisting, divine sex conversation that is both arousing and stimulating!

    Hit by Cibbuano May 18, 2006 @ 3:43 pm



  15. I live Vox, Cibby!

    Gav, that’s a freebie for ya…sms me on 19 19 23 for more smut (*$5.50 per msg)

    Hit by Russell Allen May 18, 2006 @ 3:58 pm



  16. That’s a phone call that would make Lifeline hang up.

    Hit by Rory May 18, 2006 @ 4:57 pm



  17. Fortunately I for me Bob Carr was working for Lifeline that day

    Hit by Russell Allen May 18, 2006 @ 5:01 pm



  18. C’mon Russ, you might have been visualising Carr but you know it was Vanstone talking.

    Hit by Dollop May 18, 2006 @ 5:15 pm



  19. They have the same kind of vocal range but it was definitely an (02) number

    Hit by Russell Allen May 18, 2006 @ 6:09 pm



  20. How’s your love of the Spanish today?

    Hit by Imelda May 18, 2006 @ 6:16 pm



  21. I’ve always disliked the Spanish for their poor taste in everything…

    However, the Catalans are particularly shite at the mo…

    Hit by Russell Allen May 18, 2006 @ 6:31 pm



  22. ya bunch of cunts. I AM an operator and its shit like you cunts I deal with.

    Hit by Luciara — May 19, 2006 @ 6:33 am



  23. Operation is my fave game…I could never get the wishbone.

    Also, Luciara your turn of language leads me to believe you would be an excellent operator. What’s yer number so I can hear ya in action?

    Hit by Russell Allen May 19, 2006 @ 8:34 am

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